Love, Inshallah:The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women

Title: Love, Inshallah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women

Author: Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi

Every American Muslim women has their own unique story on dating, love, and marriage. As American Muslim, I wish I could say “yes, arranged marriages always work out or one day we will all find our soul mate and its just a matter of searching”. Unfortunately, that’s just not how it works. Like all women, we too have a longing to one day be united by our one true love. We are also willing to search far and wide through any means possible. From single events and college flirtations to arranged marriages.

Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi’s book gives us the opportunity to have a first hand look into the lives of some of these American Muslim women and their struggle to find love. At the same time, we watch as others’ love stories unfold. When I read, Love Inshallah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women, I was blown away by their stories. At the same time, I felt relieved to know that I am not alone in these struggles to find love. There are other  Muslim women who face the same struggles as I do. There is someone else questioning the logic behind arranged marriages, the relationship between husband and wife and God, and the role of religion.

Today, in modern times, it is difficult to find a spouse who is compatible with you and has the same religious views as you,whether you are liberal or conservative. As a Muslim, it is hard to date, because Muslims do not date. I can’t imagine going home with a boyfriend and introducing him to my parents. Let alone a boy. It is shameful. And arranged marriage maybe your only option. As an American Muslim, what do you do when you are in such a position? Do you date non-Muslims and hope they will convert for you or wait until the one that you long for shows up at your door? Mattu and Maznavi do not answer these questions for you. For that it is something you have to decide for yourself. However, what they do share with you is something more powerful, an hour-glass look into the lives of American Muslim women who are going through the same struggles as you and a whole new perspective on our continuous search for a life partner.